The Fates Decide
by BCIsMine
Summary: Harry loses everyone in the war and he lives on as just a shell of the man he used to be, can someone bring him back or will he be like this for the rest of his life?


I wasn't the same person I used to be. I was so full of life, but now I'm not. I can't bring myself to be happy. What is the point when all I have to live for has died. My parents dead for years and my best friends and my fiancé died. It was the war of course. I didn't die, i went up against the most Evil wizard ever and I didn't die. Some people would say that's lucky, but me not so much. How is it lucky when everyone you cared about is gone? How do you keep on living happily with that?

The truth is you don't, can't is probably the better word. The only thing someone can do is try and move on or end it. I know they wouldn't want me to end my life, and I'm too much of a coward to do that anyway. So you go on, living everyday as it comes, not even living as half the person you used to be, doing what is necessary to live and that is all. You don't socialise and people worry about you. Colleagues, neighbours they all notice but they can't do anything. Acquaintances you used to have even try, but no one can successfully get through your barriers.

That's what I used to be like. Someone managed to change me. It took them a while to get through to me, but they were persistent. So eventually I let them in, I had no choice but to, they wouldn't leave me be. I wouldn't say I was terribly friendly with them before, actually I only really knew them in passing, we were never close, just greeting each other with the odd nod. The most our conversation ever stretched to was when I asked him for a drink.

See he was a bar tender at the bar I went to, that was my only ever comfort. I used to go after work on a Friday and drown my sorrows in a couple of glasses of bourbon. No-one usually approached me, let alone strike up a conversation.

So it was a surprise when he did. That first day was strange. He was persistent even from the very beginning.

I had just walked in and I asked for my usual. Actually it was very quiet for the usual Friday, if I remember correctly. He brought me my drink, and actually sat down and tried to talk to me. He asked if I was ok. Yes. If I was sure. Yes. That's all I would answer with. One word answers. That kind of conversation went on for a few weeks. Every time he would ask the same questions and I would reply with the same one word answers I gave him the first time.

After around 5 weeks, he changed his approach. This time he didn't start with the usual questions. Actually he didn't start with any questions, he said to me, "I know there is something wrong, and I want to know so I can help you."

Now no-one had ever tried this approach with me, they all tried to be nice about, but never got anywhere, this was direct and for some reason it took my interest. I still didn't tell him that week. He tried a couple of more times with that same statement, and each time I would tell him that I'm fine and that he should just let it go.

Those weekly conversations ended up keeping me going. For some reason I liked this guy and I felt a connection to him that I hadn't ever felt before.

So, one week he gave up, he didn't try just brought me my drink and left me alone. I was upset by that. So I approached him that night. I initiated something for the first time in months. I went up to him and asked, actually, more like demanded, why he didn't talk to me that night and he told me, "You're a lost cause. I want to help you but if you don't let me in I can't."

So I took him home after he finished work and I told him. I told him how I had lost everyone I loved in the war, of course he knew the war, everyone and anyone who had magic in them knew about the war. I told him how I should have been with them, protecting them or that I should be dead as well. I told him how the Fates have decided to make my life a misery, by making me lose everyone I cared about and really the only people who ever cared properly about me and how they left me alone with no-one.

He stayed with me that night and held me through everything. He held me while I told him and while I cried it all out. He even held me until I fell asleep, he stayed the night and made sure I was ok. I was touched, I was starting to fall for him, but I couldn't let myself do it. Why should I have allowed myself happiness, the Fates would just take it away again.

So I decided I didn't want to get involved. I avoided that bar for a month or two. I was sure he could move on so I never bothered him with my burdens any more. Although I never stopped thinking of him.

He turned up on my doorstep and demanded to be let in, I tried to stop him coming in, I didn't need his help, I was fine, but he was insistent. He was stubborn, kind of like myself if I'm honest. He sat me down and asked why I had avoided him.

"You're going to leave me, it always happens everyone leaves, and I'll fall for you and you'll leave and I will fall into the darkness and depression," I blabbed before I realised what I was doing.

He told me he wouldn't, he told me he already cared for me too much and the only thing that will stop him was me.

" I'm here, Harry, I'll catch you now and I won't let you fall ever again," he said.

So I let him catch me, and I managed to start again. I managed to live again. And everyday I thank him for saving me.

The hero of my life, Blaise Zabini.


End file.
